AguaPyro

Hello Providence! (or metropolis of the damp flame, the AguaPyro, as we are known to many (in fact this classical interpretation of our fair city’s moniker was given to me by a foreigner. One with the proper papers I think!) Having been away for a week, I am basking in the delight of my return to the state of the Red Chicken.  But of course, it hasn’t taken me long to rave and rant.

RAVING:  The magnificent Providence Public Library System will stay open at least another year, thanks to a GIFT from PPL to our Agua Pyro metropolis (At least we’re burning water, and not books YET!).  The Irrational Optimist gave a sigh of relief to learn that the system will continue this year, but she feels a RANT coming on:  that the PPL had to BRIBE our dear city to stay in biz! Indeed, many of us recognize that indeed public libraries are the Universities of the People providing free access to information and ideas (as opposed to our Public Higher Ed system that continues to make the college dream increasingly out of reach..)  Our free book exchange system has a ring of jewels around the city that have opened the doors to learning for hundreds of thousands of AguaPyrans offering exciting adventures for the brain on a regular basis to young and old with the crown jewel of our DownCity branch, unparalleled by any other book depository in our fair land, and the magnificent Elmwood Avenue branch, truly a palace for books.

Here’s hoping, gentle readers, that all will heed the call to support our palaces for the printed word.  Despite the amazing access to information provided by this the All things Autobahn, there’s still nothing quite like a visit to those Mansions for Methodical Musing, the Realm of Research and Rumination. Who out there has the attachment as I to these Incomparable Institutions of Ideas? But ah, I am asphyxiating in alliteration. The Irrational Optimist hopes to hear from you!

Gabby Sez: Thanx to the Journal of the Red Chicken

Thanx to the Journal of the Red Chicken Jet Set for providing to all us underlings the news of the Concierge Condos in the Westin. I was especially happy to learn of the superlative services offered to our well healed Westinites – maid service, valet, you name it! But you’ll have to excuse the irrational optimist for being a bit down in the dumps – the Journal of Daily Depression also brings us news of the Red Chicken Rate of unemployment, (we’re 4th highest in the country), mortgage defaults and foreclosures, (we rate in the top 10 among states for sub prime foreclosures), and of course it was thrilling to learn of Star Sighting opportunities in Pheonix City – by cruising the Westin lobby, one might see one of the illustrious tenants –chief of the CVS chain who can afford this lovely abode thanks to our growing dependence on high priced drugs (surely a model of corporate …); or even better, I might catch a glimpse of an international business media star – I’m so happy we are hosting the chief of an international pornography business! (With no casinos, maybe this is the next best thing? )

Maybe these denizens of Down City Delight will hold a Penthouse Party (plenty of ice water) for those hapless households whose foreclosed landlords failed to pay their water bills – or at least share a gourmet snack or two.

The list of Westin condo owners includes some high-profile names, including Thomas M. Ryan, chief executive of the CVS drugstore chain, and his wife, Cathy H. Ryan. The Ryans paid $1,069,000 in December for a 1,480-square-foot condo on the 23rd floor, according to Providence deed records.

Kenneth F. Guarino, a Rhode Island native who runs an international pornography business, bought a condo on the 29th floor for $1,610,900 in April with his wife, Elvira H. Famiglietti.

Gloria Duchin and her husband, David Duchin, paid $1 million in February for a condo on the 29th floor. Gloria Duchin Inc., of East Providence, is a leading manufacturer of metal Christmas tree ornaments.

GABBY SEZ

So now, with all the wonderful food, fun and frolic displayed on CONNECTPROVIDENCE, I have to choose between food and fuel!

My last trip to a Red Chicken state gas pump wiped out my budget for lunching out – it’s ham and cheese roll ups rather than exciting city seafood! And get this – I go to Taxachusetts to earn my daily bread – and the fuel is cheaper there! The cost of my carbon footprint is forcing a change in chew choices.

So I could turn to public transportation – or could I? If I want to get to Olneyville from Southside, I have to take the RIPTOFF scenic route – via down city! And the cost per fare has just gone up. (Now RIPTA drivers, don’t take offence – I know you’re not taking new vacations with this added fare hike)

Continuing to rant… I refer to the RIPTA website – negotiating this Uncle Wiggly game of directions is like the usual Red Chicken directions – take a left where the Star Market used to be! The names of the bus lines don’t make sense if you’ve never been there, and the map becomes a surreal or impressionist blur of colors when you expand it large enough to read!

But the Irrational Optimist rises again – RIPTA does have a wonderful summer services to the beaches. To Scarborough Beach – only 1.5 hours of bus bonanza each way – with all your beach toys! Be sure to take along a good book, or at least your Game Boy for the ride. Or (get it while it lasts) enjoy the Providence Newport Ferry! Don’t be depressed by the devastation at the petrol station – get out there and get some of those UV rays (that’s another rant – soon to come!!)

Gabby exposing pot…holes

GABBY SENSES SPRING IN THE AIR and trouble in the streets.  That is in the Bridges, streets and roads.  Yup, as a buddy of mine who travels throughout the city and environs has reminded me of late – the New England winter has once again blessed us with nature’s revenge against streets and roads – POTHOLES.  And at the same time, we have double bridge trouble:  one bridge that seems to never open both ways and another that may threaten to close any day!  But more on this later. 

Back to the Providence lasting impressions – Potholes.  
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Inaugural Rant!

MAY DAY, MAY DAY! HEAR YE, HEAR YE! Our Providence schools are in a bind; dollars are not there for scholars, yet we host one of the wealthiest educational institutions in the nation! In our neighboring town of CF, a curfew has been put in place in an attempt to quell recent citizen to citizen violence while we advertise our down city nightlife! And our traffic continues to snarl despite our beautiful new bridge span – (it appears to be some kind of urban performance sculpture!)

But in the face of these frustrations, it’s SPRING IN PROVIDENCE and I feel once again a kind of IRRATIONAL HOPE. Despite all the signs and omens, our unique city state and its diverse salad bowl of cultures and contributions beckons me to confront the critics and naysayers, to spotlight evidence of hope and possibility even as I focus on the foibles that threaten the health and happiness of our town.

Yes, I am your new harbinger of relentless ranting and irrational hope. In this occasional column for the site that hopes to ‘Connect Providence’ I will be musing about both the contradictions and irritations of our city and it’s surrounds – while providing sketches of the unexpected beauty and goodness that can bring us back from the brink of despair.

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